30 May 2013

Shit My Kids Say

Recently I realized that, as parents, we participate in and overhear an overwhelming amount of insane exchanges.  Here are some of ours:  

Daddy:  What kind of dinosaur is that? 
Drew:  A Tyrranosaurus Rex. 
Daddy:  That's right.  And what's this dinosaur?
Drew:  A Spiny Tyrranosaurus. 
Daddy:  No, that's a Stegosaurus. 
Drew:  Woah.   


Scene:  I see Drew climbing up the counter while wearing his Buzz Lightyear costume.
Me:  DREW! 
Drew:  It's okay.  I have super climbing powers.   

Olivia:  Hey, Sandy?  What if we named the baby Destiny? 
Mitch:  That's the kind of name that means you didn't go to college, Olivia.  I know, what if we name the baby Toby, Sandy? 
Olivia:  That's the kind of name you name a dog, Mitchell. 


Drew:  Mommy?  Are you awake? 
Me:  (I say nothing.  I'm not stupid.)
Drew:  Mommy?  Mommy?!  MOMMY!! 
Me:  Jesus, Drew!  What? !
Drew:  Um...do monkeys wear hats?  

And for now...
The End

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