27 June 2010

I Like Free Stuff, too, but Damn...Part Deux.

For those of you new to my little slice of the blogosphere, this is how this piece came to be...

Don’t get me wrong, there are some people who are perfectly fine with Craigslist. I just don’t happen to be one of them. It might have something to do with living next to Baltimore, but who knows?

Craigslist also irritates me.

That’s right, it irritates me. I seem to have a hard time figuring out why someone with a puked on, cigarette burned (yes, I’m speaking from experience) Graco BABY SWING can feel justified in trying to sell it for fifty dollars. It’s insanity.

In lieu of Craigslist, I’ve found Freecycle, which is a Yahoo group that only allows the giving up or receiving of goods. No trading, no selling, and no offering of or asking for any type of service. It’s a nice little group, and it seems to really have weeded out the crazies and undesirables.


Here are some that have been posted in my local area (as you can only join the county you reside in).

I am still looking for a kitchen aid stand mixer since mine broke. If anyone has one that they never use or taking up to much space I would love to have it and would put to good use. Thank you in advance –

Yes, I often feel the need to purchase kitchen appliances that cost more than my car payment. I then feel the need to either not use it, or give it away.

please need a couch and a chair for my living room...i let my sister and her kids live with me and after they moved out they let there bed bug be hide and now i got to get rid of my kids beds and our living furniture ...so if anyone has some i dont care what it look like as long as it got no hole PLEASE help me and my family thank u and god bless --

Are you sure the bedbugs aren’t there to help you learn how to type without sounding like you have a cold? And I have news, they probably did not restrict themselves to the kids’ beds and living furniture. They’re notorious for traveling. Seriously. Ask your sister.

I have about four bras all 38C, cami body shaper XL, Flexes girdle large, confident and beautiful brown girdle large, 3 pair of coffee colored pantyhose, and four cotton underwear size XL. All are in great condition some have never been worn. Quickest pick up preferred. Must pick up

ewEwEW!!! Some have never been worn? Some? It’s nothing personal, it’s just that I don’t feel like we’re on that level where I’m able to comfortably wear your (albeit in “great condition”) used chonies.


working treadmill/exercise bike. -- Found: Sidewalk.

any kind of athletic/gym mats. – Found: Grass.

heavy bag/punching bag in decent condition. – Found: The sister that left the bed bug be hide.

any unused appliances (washers, dryers, refrigerators, stoves, etc.) -- Hmmm…

any decent sized scrap metal. –Wait, what?

will come and pick up. -- All that stuff, I’d friggin’ hope so, Matt. I’d friggin’ hope so.

thank you,

im in need of a computer to use to git on line thank u Ernie --

I’m not gonna lie to you, everything I’ve tried to think of to go with this pales in comparison. It just pales.

Wanted: Ariel Rug 21921 Any kind as long as its it good condition. Thank you, any help would be great! --

Any kind of Ariel rug? How many types of Ariel rugs are out there? I’m sure that her father, King Triton, would be sad to know his little girl’s rug isn’t one of a kind.


Howard, I think I fell in love with you a little bit when I read this.

Plastic bag full of socks, all different colors. They have been worn but are not worn out. Womens size 9-10
Sue --

Sue, just bite the bullet and throw the f-ing socks out. Just take the plastic bag, and instead of placing it on your porch, place it in the dumpster. Please. Otherwise, I see an intervention in your future. Or maybe lots of cats.

wanted a car 21921 need one for some one lost hers in a fire it do not have to lock good i will fixs it up for her –

I’m very, very sorry for the car fire. That’s a terrible thing to happen, and anyone who giggles at this may want to stand one lightning bolt’s distance away from me at all times, but…well…damn. Again, all of my thoughts are paling in comparison. Super pale. Like, ecru. Or Eggshell. Or something else reallllly pale.

in need of 50 in or bigger tv for my mom she is having troble seeing small ones –

I’m having troble seeing, too. I have troble seeing how on earth I’d hand over a TV that equals the same as a mortgage payment.

Ahh, I love Maryland. So many rednecks, so little typing ability.

17 June 2010

Why I Kissed My Husband In The Grocery Store Parking Lot

We’ve all been there…the freeway traffic slows to a crawl, and seconds tick by like hours as the MPH indicator hesitates to rise above seven. We shift uncomfortably in our seats, change the radio station, roll our eyes while sighing heavily. Clearly, this inconvenience was created to make our day difficult. Dammit!

And then, suddenly, the seven miles an hour seems too quick, as we pass the flashing lights and multicolored emergency vehicles. Sometimes, people are sitting on a hill or in the back of ambulances. Sometimes they are standing, glassy eyed, staring at the twisted remains of their former mode of transportation. We all stare, destruction and grief fascinating everyone within eyeshot.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to be humbled. As I pulled the truck into the parking spot in front of my son’s daycare home, I kicked the emergency brake into submission. As far as I figured, it had it coming because I’d had a bad day at work, and had decided my truck owed me something. As I turned the ignition off, I watched as two uniformed police officers walked toward two women. One woman yelled, and I took a moment to reflect on the situation, internally thinking to myself how I would act differently if approached by law enforcement. But then, clearly, if someone is yelling at an officer, said yeller must have done something wrong. Right?

As if in slow motion, the officer reached for the woman. Rather than grabbing her, he laid his hand on her bicep, and I watched as her face changed to a color Crayola wouldn’t dare create. She crumpled, as everyone watching on the street simultaneously shrunk. Over and over, she screamed “NO HE ISN’T”, and rocked the rhythmic rock of the distraught. Again we stared, but this time in disbelief. So many people aching with kind words and hugs for this woman we’d never met. The minutes ticked by, and we all stared at each other, silently tearing and thinking of our loved ones.

All night and this morning, my thoughts have gone toward my family and friends. I stopped on my way in and picked my coworkers up some coffee. I gave one of my supervisors a peanut butter cup I’d been hoarding. I didn’t flinch when someone told me to have a blessed day, and picked up slack I’d normally be pissy over.

Today (whatever today you may read this), hug your significant other. Play with your kids. Remember that work is work, traffic is traffic, bills are bills, but life is precious. Roll down your car window, turn up the radio, soak up the sun or the rain, because it makes no difference which it is. From now on, I’m going to take a moment to pay happiness forward, and remember that whatever it is, I can take it with a grain of salt. Because (flinch at the word or not), life is a blessing. And in the blink of an eye, your blessings can change drastically.